kyndallrae

creating me [using words]

Now and Then I Feel This Way

Remarkably, most notably,
spectacularly:
I feel calm for now.
I love calm-for-now moments,
as long as they last,
like a soothing fleeting whisper
that tells me vaguely
I am in the right place
moving at the right pace
and all manner of thing
shall be well.

This is how I want to feel
about my many uncertainties
and all my yet-to-be’s
and maybe it will become
possible to experience
calm-for-now for longer

This ferocious impatience
both ravages and propels—
I am worn down
yet grateful for the push
to move ahead
I have wanted to feel
the stars of my sky
aligning, the puzzle
pieces of my life
moving into place,
and new things being born.

The NOW has been so dreary
I’ve been itching for happiness,
so hurtful I’ve been scratching
for healing, clawing at my own skin
at times, it seems, just to feel
something akin to relief
Oh to relax into time rather than
rushing it, begrudging it, or abusing it,
how calm that might make me
for now, oh how I want to allow
incubation for whatever
needs more time

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